Thursday, August 13, 2015

Both sides Win

One of the hallmarks of a good negotiator or a good diplomat is that both parties leave the table feeling that they have gotten something. True, they may have had to compromise and give, but in the end, a true victory must have been earned by both parties.

In the case of asymmetric relationships, such as orgasm control or chastity, both parties have to GAIN something in order for the arrangement to be successful. However, what they gain does not have to be equal, or even what they initially expect. There are certain things that could be of benefit for the man, while some could be more beneficial for the woman. This is my take on this.

What is in this for a man?

I have defined the common core of Chastity Play in the following way:

The male wants to earn an orgasm and is willing to do as much as he can to please his woman to earn it. The woman wants the male to strive for his orgasm and want to delay it as much as possible to enjoy the benefits.

Why would a man be willing, sometimes eager, to get into an arrangement that seems to limit his pleasure and enjoyment? What are the benefits that he can obtain from this? It surely would defeat the purpose of playing the game if it didn’t provide joy, so what it is?

The man could potentially get various rewards:

More sex (depending on your definition of sex)
·         More Intimacy
·         More connection
·         The knowledge that he is pleasing his woman
·         Increased pleasure due to sexual energy
·         The satisfaction of working hard for a goal
·         Orgasms, when offered, are stronger

What is in it for a woman?

Like mentioned above, the job of the woman is to take control of the male’s orgasms, delay them as much as possible to enjoy the benefits. 

What are these benefits?

Chastity Play is an asymmetric game, meaning that the two players are not equal. The female gets more benefits than the male, basically because she gets to set all the extra rules of the game. In addition to this, one could list several benefits:

·         The service of a man (who should be doing as she wants)
·         More freedom to enjoy sex
·         More intimacy
·         A more pleasing man, who tries to make her life easier
·         The knowledge that her man is striving to please her
·         All the benefits that her partner’s service can bring
·         A more peaceful relationship
·         The knowledge that she has the power to make her man happy
·         More self confidence

When all factors in these benefits and weighs them against the investment of time and effort the female has to make in providing the various gifts that only she can provide, one can see how this can be a good thing. 

I am planning on talking about all these points separately on later posts, but feedback is always appreciated. 

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