I believe that one of the first things that one has to
understand if one is to be successful in achieving a chastity relationship is
that orgasm control is a game. But, you may say, I have very strong feelings about it, and it feels so serious and so important to my life that there is no way it can be a game.
Don't get me wrong, I know first hand about the impact that orgasm control can have in the life of those who practice it, but it is still
a game.
BUT WHAT IS A GAME?
By definition, a game is an activity that is
not necessary but is engaged on for recreation or amusement and usually have rules. You may not think that
your chastity is recreational or that you actually need to practice it (which may be true), but in the end, you must admit that no one, and I mean no one can really control your orgasms unless you
volunteer that control away. There is always a way to gain release if you really
want it, and no way your partner could control you if you chose not to
cooperate. The reason you cooperate is up to you, but you choose, one way or another to submit to a set of rules for your ultimate enjoyment. Hopefully, if we are honest about the reason(s) we play this game, it will end up working for her enjoyment and benefit as well.
I think that much of the fear and
reluctance men experience when facing the prospect of introducing their desire
to be controlled in this way to their significant others is caused by taking the game too seriously. If you look at it as a game you like to play, as opposed to the all-too-serious and potentially threatening 'lifestyle change,' wouldn’t it be much easier to ask
someone to play with you?
WHAT ABOUT 24-7?
Sure, you
may want to play the game 24-7, but let’s be realistic here, the probability of
entering that type of relationship in real life are remote, to say the least, and live mostly on the realm of fantasy.
Treating orgasm denial as a game will not only make it
easier for the male to invite the female to play, but also should make it
easier for the female to accept the invitation, knowing that she is not being asked to
change who she is, or to start down an irreversible, life-altering path.
Like in any other game of self-discovery,
the players may choose to make life changes, or more likely than not, discover the changes already happening within themselves, but this is always under their
control and choice.
THE RULES WE PLAY BY
The other part of the definition of a game is the
use of rules. The rules of Chastity Play are simple. He plays for the chance to
earn an orgasm, and works hard to convince her to give it to him. She plays to
deny his orgasm for as long as possible, and choosing when and how to grant
it. as in most games, it is not the ultimate goal that matters, but how you get there. Both players get to enjoy the game, regardless of whether they win or lose in the traditional sense of the words, and some may say that losing may be more enjoyable than winning because it keeps the challenge alive.
OUR FIRST PUBLISHED GAME: MARBLES
In the spirit of sharing ideas as to how this exquisite game can be played, I have published the rules for a game called MARBLES which is a game I have played with Victoria a couple times and hope to begin again soon. You can find it by clicking on the tab above near the top of this blog, or by clicking HERE.
PLAY HARD, PLAY OFTEN
Now, I want to finish with one clarification: Just because I insist that orgasm denial is a game, does not mean that I underestimate it, or consider it easy, childish or meaningless. This game has brought great insight and self-awareness to us as a couple, and I have enjoyed the hard work that I have had to put down to be able to play it. If it was an easy game, there would barely be excitement on a 'win' or satisfaction at the effort and desire for a rematch on a 'lose' against a worthy opponent.
On this season of giving, my wish is that we can all play and enjoy the games of our choice. And Orgasm Control is the game I choose.